My dad just called back from Indonesia. The moment i picked up the phone, he blasted his voice, asking me whether i've improved or not. I said i'm already trying, and he replied that i had better, as though telling me that i'm not. Then he started repeating himself, saying i had better put in more effort and stop giving my mum problems, otherwise i would be the first person among all my cousins and family to get retained. "You better study harder i tell you, otherwise if you get retained don't come blame us (mum and dad) for not reminding you, you heard me?!" Seriously, just by saying this, it has really demoralised me by many many times! Is he trying to tell me that they don't have confidence in me, and that my studies suck like shit that i can't even get promoted?! Indeed i've been obssessed with computer games, refusing to do homework and not paying attention in class, but i'm really trying to change myself! But it seems like nobody have faith in me.. I then digressed from the topic and told him my sister was having fever and he immediately told me to call my grandma to the phone.
Seriously, what can i still do? I've already lost a person i used to confide in, and now i'm losing the faith my parents once had in me? What more would i lose?! i really feel stuck! God help me ):
